cry baby.

hi baby.

when i got home from work today, i turned on TLC because it was time to watch "a baby story." i never watched it until i was pregnant with you, and i like to watch only the last ten minutes, when the babies are born. i like to see how happy all the parents are when their little loveys join their family. well today the little girl on the show was born and i cried. why did i cry? she is not my baby. it made me want to see you so bad. your mom is a huge cry baby.

then this commercial for pampers diapers came on and the narrator was talking about how "becoming a mom will change your world" and these new little tiny babies were sleeping in their mommy's arms and some babies were smiling up at their parents all googley-eyed. guess what? i started crying harder. and the commercial was only like 45 seconds or a minute long. what is my deal?

to torture myself even more, there is this online forum for moms due in february 2011. i get online and follow it sometimes; i like to read what other people who are at the same point as us in pregnancy are going through and compare their silly symptoms to ours and read stories. apparently a lot of the moms on the forum have already had their babies. i looked at the post one mom had done with a picture of her new little boy. i cried again.

i think this means you just need to come. maybe it's just that i'm super hormonal. it's like a happy, love cry but also a cry like my heart is breaking, because i feel like i already know you and that my heart misses you so much and it needs to be with you. okay i'm going to cry again. i know you are actually already with me (all the time, too!) but i love you and if you really take up the whole 3 weeks we have left, i might die of a broken heart because i need to see you. so please come sooner than that. as long as you are healthy, of course. but if you need 3 more weeks to be healthy, then take your time (i never thought i'd say that). just come so i will stop crying!

xoxo